Wednesday, May 25

When Christmas passes-on, I have symptoms of Grief

When Christmas passes-on, I have symptoms of Grief.
Hi and welcome in. My name Don. I've always loved Christmas Eve.
To me Jesus was the Baby of the Royal King. I would protect him with my own life. This is the way I feel about children. I think I would kill to protect them. So I joined the army at 17 and was promoted to an Officer at 18.

I lost home and family and spouse and my pet Dog. All my wealth.
From Home to Homelessness for five years: a state of torture.

I have survived and I 81 years old.

Losing a parent, "spouse" or other loved one is really hard. What most of us don't know, until it happens, is that it hurts for a long time.

Denise lost her mother and father and her pet dog Nelly. I had Nicky.
Both our Dogs were abused before we adopted them.
Loosing all that was material and organic. Death, death and more death.

And then my Home and Studio, where I wrote for a living,
This all happened because a family member lit the metaphorical candles/





I promise all of you, I'll end with "Touch of Love" with a great song by a little girl with Gods energy of light.








About 32,100,000 results (0.34 seconds) On Google about Grief.

Here is another personal story about the effects of grief.
Some one from the other side of the pond.
I'll try to get her name.

www.google.com/+donwesley

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I lost my Mum just over a month ago and I can't believe it. Stage 4 lung cancer with secondary liver cancer. I miss her so much. She went very quickly from diagnosis to death. I live in London and my parents live in Dublin, we sat for 5 days in the hospital watching her die. It was hardest thing ever. I've always suffered from anxiety - it comes and goes and i'm a recovering alcoholic sober for 7 years, she was so proud of me. 
 
We spend our lives often being told not to feel, don't cry, chin up, don't be so sensitive. Dad didn't want people crying by her bed side. I've always been questioned for being so sensitive, I started taking Diazepam when mum was diagnosed and I have a high tolerance so i've been taking a lot and it barely does anything for me so i'm reducing now with the doctor. I'm trying not to be too hard on my self for slipping... you only have one Mum and the pain of losing her is unbelievable. 
 
But something's i've learnt about anxiety over the years and i'm applying now again, is to welcome it, accept it, challenge it to do it's worst and over time it shrinks.
 
It's ok to feel, cry, scream, you have a right to be angry, sad, pissed off. But we don't have the right to dump our anger on others. Whenever I can I breathe, move and make a sound, to let the sadness and anger out and transform it, instead of holding it in. I beat the pillow whatever I can to get the pain out and allow it space. 
 
I'm also on bereavement leave from work and so far dread coming back. But we're all a lot stronger then we may think. Our mum's have died, that's something to be pretty sad about and anxious about. We just have to keep letting the pain out whenever we can and I believe it will move, we will get through it. And for those that are finding it hard to eat, I didn't eat for almost a year once I was so anxious. Now when I get like this I blend everything and knock it back, smoothies with oats and nuts - and supplements for the nervous system - vitamin b complex, ashwaganda...
 
I feel guilty that I wasn't a good enough daughter, that I put her through hell for the years that I was drinking, but deep down I know I made up for that and she grew with me. I'm 29 and it feels too soon to be without her but I have to.
 
I miss her so so much but I know she would want me to be happy and i'm really working on that. I wish us all peace and acceptance and happy memories.